A Boarding School Facade - by Jooles*
Chapter 5.4 [the last part to a
Christmas Interlude]
Heero had been surprised at how up
front Relena had been about the evening. He’d been pondering just exactly
how he would approach Relena with his questioning and had instead been greeted
by her admission of actually wanting to talk to him.
Of course he was eager to
listen. Relena was making his task a hell of a lot easier to complete by
actually being up front and motioning to talk to him.
Heero moved away from the shaded in
gray wall that he’d been leaning against. Relena stood by a window near
the fire exit Zechs Merquise
and Une had retreated from not too long ago. The dim lighting captured
the fragility and the significance of the moments careening down upon
them. Relena may have been a slight wisp of a thing, but her strength and
will of character suggested a personality mountains more substantial. She
wanted to tell him her life story; her life according to that of a mere palm
reading. She wished she could and it was the wishing the compelled her to
almost do so. Yet something held her back. And that was her reluctance to
give up the life she’d grown accustomed to.
Relena liked being anonymous.
Sure she didn’t like how she couldn’t always achieve at her full potential for
fear of being singled out and eventually figured out. But she liked how
she could get up in the morning without worrying about making a speech in front
of thirty thousand people. She reveled in days and nights that passed
over one into the other, completely and utterly seamless. Relena felts as
though her formative years had been made all worth the while with the
friendships she had to rely on and the companionship, loyalty and unrelenting love
of her foster family.
These were the sort of things she’d
grown accustomed to. And although she’d wanted to protect and see to the
needs of the kingdom she was expected to inherit she couldn’t bring herself to
anticipate or even slightly entertain the thought of being a ‘princess’ once
again.
“What about?” Heero’s
inquiring interrupted Relena’s own night-lingering meandering.
“Excuse me?” Relena shook her
head not quite aware of what Heero was asking of her.
“What do we need to talk
about?” Heero asked her, wanting her to explain to him as clearly and
dead-pan like as possible just exactly what was going on. Although he
already had a fair idea of the underlying turbulence shielded beneath the
festive happenings that evening.
Relena gazed out the windowsill
looking as though she were still looking at her brother and Une’s
retreating forms. Instead she was studying the condensation-sheered
window pane, avoiding meeting Heero’s probable glare. She assumed that he
was glaring at her. He did spend more than half of the time doing
so. And the way he glared in an ironically relaxed way made Heero Yuy’s famous death glare all the more hypocritical.
After all he’d attained a minor achievement in that he’d managed to make a
cold, calculated morbid glare a completely natural facial expression. And
that was the kind of achievement that just happened to impress country girls .
. . well even Relena was impressed and she wasn’t the original country hick
girl. She had been born and raised (for the first seven years of her
life) in Cinq’s capital city.
“The night has made me
forget...” Relena told Heero cryptically while trailing a mindless
pattern on the pane of the window.
Heero gazed at the girl before
him. She really were a young woman but the moonlight and stars outside
and above them gave Relena a Wendy affect. It seemed as though she’d been
reduced to being ten years younger while at the same time still being able to
achieve that responsible need-to-do-whatever-was right that was a pinnacle
aspect of her personality. And an aspect Heero thoroughly admired.
Relena looked up at Heero seeming
to have remembered something. “I do want to talk to you Heero... and explain
what this,” she gestured towards the fire exit Une and Zechs had exited from, “this is all about.” She
smiled skeptically at him, a half smile that seemed to be an effort to put
on. “But I need to cover for Une and.... I doubt if you’re ready to know
the truth yet.”
It was all Heero could do to stop
himself from leaning over and physically stopping Relena from leaving him in
the dark. He wanted to stop her, shake her, tell her that ‘he knew’, that
he’d known for awhile, and that he didn’t care.
Then he wanted to lean over, kiss
her thoroughly, and then hopefully drag the truth out of her.
He was on a mission.
Relena smiled at Heero before
working her way away from their remarkably close-position beside the window
pane. Heero watched her exit from the window baring no emotion.
Before she’d exited completely,
Relena turned around and lifted her hand as though she were going to wave at
him. But seeing the expression on Heero’s face stopped her gesture.
Instead she smiled that smile he would never get sick of seeing, the one she
seemed to use for him only. “Night Heero...and Merry Christmas.”
She said before leaving him in the dark and empty room by himself. Alone
to ponder when exactly things got so difficult. The job wasn’t meant to
be so complicated. Just a simple spy on girl, identify girl, eventually
kill the identified girl type of job. Relena Dorlian
had changed that. It was as though he was reassessing his outlook on life
and had utterly no control over it.
And for some strange,
undeterminable reason he wanted to let go....and lose control.
*************
The night had succumbed a thing or
two for Relena. She’d found that her instincts regarding Une had been
spot on. She’d reunited briefly with her brother. Quatre and Hilde
had given her a much loved first edition Salinger novel. And Heero and
she had almost had a moment.
Life was as good as it could be...
although it could have been better.
She’d left Heero beside the window
where she’d watch Milliardo and Une retreat to do the
unknown. She had almost told Heero the truth and she had resolved to
eventually do so. But she’d remembered just as she’d resolved to let
Heero in on the truth that up until thirty minutes ago Une had been kept the
Winner Christmas Party running smoothly. Now with Une gone Relena had to
cover for her.
And Heero had had that funny glint
in his eye that made Relena rethink telling him right at that particular
moment. She wanted to cement their ‘friendship’ a smidgen more before
endangering him with her secret. And she wanted him to be able to trust
him enough so as to actually tell her his own secret. Whatever it was.
So Relena headed back to the party
anticipating a mountain of dishes and not being able to hit the hay until some
ungodly hour. And she’d thought she might be exempt this Christmas.
Not a chance.
Well at least she’d get a sleep-in
in the morning. It was Christmas and if you couldn’t sleep in on
Christmas morning, when could you sleep in?
Relena had waved at Duo and Hilde
as she passed them on her way to the kitchen. Hilde looked to be having a
genuinely good time. Actually they all did. Even Wufei, who as
she’d noted before generally always looked pissed. But the pulling tug of
Christmas enthusiasm and the benefit of attending a ‘big bash’ were contagious.
Her usually austere-like friends had been softened out for the evening...
Strangely enough they all looked a little relaxed. Relena was anything
but relaxed. And after the evening she’d had she was almost glad that
there was no chance of heading home early. She had much to think about,
analyze and plan for.
Seeing Milliardo
had been quite weird. They didn’t look alike anymore. He was tall,
blonde, masculine and hardened looking. He hadn’t told her anything of
what his childhood had ended up being like. Only that it had been
relatively painless, but he hadn’t been raised in the family environment she
had. So although he had grown up to seem just fine and dandy, Relena had
been able to tell that he had had a childhood without the love of a substitute
parent or sibling to help heal old wounds. He hadn’t had a Frankie.
Nor had he had an Elana. The Dorlian’s didn’t have much money, and they had to work for
every cent that they earned, but they were happy. Happiness was a
possibility for anyone when there was a family to support and love you, and a
home (no matter how small and downtrodden it was) to retreat to in times of
need. So even though Relena’s childhood had been one where money was a
constant worry she had had the unrelenting love of Frankie and Elana. They supported her, loved her and cared for
her as though she were their very own blood daughter. They were the best
type of foster parents in that she had always felt as though she really were
apart of the family, as though she belonged. And it was that belonging
that was so very important to a person. Relena had gotten the feeling
that Milliardo hadn’t found a place to belong to in
his travels since leaving the Cinq Kingdom.
Judging from the determination that etched his very features Relena gathered
that the Cinq was the only place he felt he could and
did belong. Maybe that was why he was so determined, so set on returning
to the Cinq Kingdom and taking over a kingdom he had
been preordained to inherit.
Relena didn’t feel the same way
about the Cinq Kingdom. She did want to return
there. Especially with the rioting getting worse and the political
triangle and between-the-lines feuding going on with the many hostile factions warring
for a major position as ruler of the Cinq
Kingdom. Romefellar still had a large
percentage of control over the kingdom, but that control was waning as Cinq’s citizens grew restless. After years of having
their rights virtually ignored by Romefellar the Cinq people were beginning to resist. Romefellar’s governing of the Cinq
Kingdom would have been a lot smoother if they had been user-friendly.
Relena did want to return to the Cinq Kingdom, the
nation of her birth and the nation with her family history and where she
supposed she should have felt most akin to. The only thing was that
Relena enjoyed anonymity. Growing up in the Dorlian
household had allowed Relena to dream and make plans for a relatively normal
life. Her inhibitions had been to plan to do well in school, get into
university and become a lawyer, diplomat.... someone who could make a
difference without being too public. Talking, arguing, soothing
differences, mediating.... those were the sort of things Relena excelled at.
And while doing stacks of dishes in the back sink of the Dorlian
Diner’s kitchen Relena had dreamed soap-sudded dreams
of an adult hood filled with the challenges of a career, a boyfriend to boot
and money as an accessory. She’d planned for things to be sweet. Not
that they weren’t at present. It was just that she liked being anonymous
and having the freedom to make plans for a future she knew she couldn’t have.
Dreams were only dreams
though. And Milliardo’s appearance that evening
had pulled Relena out of that reverie. The reality was that the day was
upon the siblings when they would make a bid for the Cinq
Kingdom, their homeland and kingdom by right. If things went well (which
Relena doubted they would), Milliardo would take his
place as King of the Cinq Kingdom, while Relena would
dabble along supporting her brother as Princess of the nation. She’d have
no freedom. She’d become merely a pawn in her brother’s bid for
politics. He was so determined to retake the Cinq
Kingdom that he hadn’t seemed to work out what sort of role Relena would have
in the retaking of the kingdom. Relena assumed that she’d be stuck going
to a great many galas, dinners, lunches, brunches, meetings, charities, dances,
balls, and other events that would show her support of her brother. Milliardo had said something cryptic that Relena had
translated as his assuming that she’d act as his supporter. He’d retake
the kingdom, fix what was wrong with it, and from there take further steps to
improve the kingdom. Relena would act as his supporter, and since she
seemed to be the more diplomatic of the two siblings, she would make a point of
getting her brother’s policies across. Whatever those policies were
deemed to be. Relena wasn’t sure if she wanted to spend the rest of her
teenage years working to put her brother in power. She wasn’t too sure if
he was even suited to being in such a powerful rule. He did have a strong
personality, Relena credited him with that. But was it the right type of
‘strong’ that was suited to ruling a nation? She wondered what Pagan’s
view on the siblings and what sort of rule they should exert on their former
home country was. He’d always had an affinity with both the siblings and
had supported them in an equally paternal way. Had Milliardo
included Pagan in his planning?
Relena sighed. Things were so
damn complicated. And if the siblings were going to carry on down the
path of what could only be deemed a coup d'état then they had to learn to get
on with each other without being able to practically breathe the tension so
evidently there in their reunion earlier on that evening.
For now Relena could only ponder
the future... until it happened there was nothing she could possibly do except
wait and sit tight.
Funny then that Relena’s version of
‘sitting tight’ involved a mountain load of dishes to do and a party to clean
up. Now that was real life. And it was that kind of ‘real life’
that Relena enjoyed, despite the plainness, hardships, and ordinariness of
it. The ordinariness of her life was a facade. Everything was a
facade... and Relena enjoyed the facade. It was safe.
*********
The party didn’t go on as late as
Relena had estimated it would. The last guests had left the place in an
overly drunken stupor around two o’clock that Christmas morning. Sleepy
greetings of Merry Christmas had been affirmed amongst the remaining staff
working on the catering that evening. Relena was of course amongst that
group. She hadn’t seen any sign of her friends, Elana
or Heero after leaving Heero near the fire exit earlier on in the
evening. She’d crawled into her bed in her tiny bedroom above the Dorlian Diner around three o’clock Christmas morning and
had slept heavily on through the ceremonial present opening downstairs. Elana had dragged Relena out of what had been a pleasant
sleep with dreams filled with cobalt blue eyes, dark brown hair and soft pale
lips pressing against her skin. Now that dream had been a ‘Merry Christmas’!
Elana had eventually persuaded Relena to get up and had obscurely
implied that instead of heading down to the kitchen in her cheap flannel
checkered pajamas, that getting changed would be a very good idea indeed.
And there was the small matter of stinking of a mixture of tobacco and sweat
from last night’s minor feat of managing the Christmas party after Une had
left. A shower was definitely called for.
Groaning, Relena rolled out of bed
and squinted when she found a plainly wrapped in rich red box. Now the
present was definitely a surprise. Elana and
Frankie always gave Relena her present whenever it was that she finally decided
to show herself. They had a thing about presenting a present to the
receiver in person and when they were actually awake and held the receiver’s
full attention. Which was in Relena’s case, her half-awakened state of
half-attentiveness.
Relena shrugged. She’d be an
air head to have something against being given a present, especially one
delivered right to the edge of her bed. Pulling the box into her arms
Relena climbed back into the warmth of her bed. It was still snowing out
and heat could only be found either under the covers of her thickly woolen
blankets or downstairs in the Diner’s kitchen where the oven and stove were
sure to be roaring. “What do we have here?” Relena said quietly to
herself, filling the empty silence in what was a tiny bedroom. She ripped
the wrapping off of the present, not bothering to savour
the surprise and anticipation that should have come with opening an unexpected
gift. “Oh my...”
It was a bear. A teddy
bear. The kind of present a ten year old expected to receive. But
for a young woman to receive... well it was certainly different. The kind
of gift that a teenage boy would give his crush on Valentine’s Day. But for
Christmas.... now that was special. It was a fluffy brown bear, caramel
in colour and with a velvety deep red bow tied
classically around its neck. Two shiny black beaded eyes reflected the
look of surprise marring Relena’s no-longer sleepy face. She lifted the
bear to her face smelling a mixture of the mustiness that came with owning an
antiquity-made teddy bear and also a faint trace of a men’s brand of after
shave. Relena couldn’t put her finger on what exactly it smelt like,
maybe Sandalwood... or was it more like ginger. Sighing Relena gave up
using her nose as a means of figuring out who the gift had come from.
Instead she did what she should have done in the first place and looked for a
card.
And a card she found.
Although she could just as easily have missed it. The gift-giver had done
a good thing of concealing the tiny piece of cardboard. Turning it over
in her hands, Relena contemplated the opening of it before actually opening
it. Maybe it was Heero. Maybe her dreams of cobalt blue eyes and dark
brown hair and the soft press of a certain anti-social young man’s lips hadn’t
been what she thought they had been, just dreams. Maybe he had been in her bedroom after all.
Relena quit tormenting herself and actually opened the card.
She wasn’t to be disappointed....
Relena sighed a sigh of blissful relief. He had been there, in her room,
beside her bed, near her sleeping form. Had she really dreamed that he’d
kissed her? All had he just happened to drop a honey warm kiss onto her sleep-dazed
but slightly aware brow. Touching where she’d dreamed him pressing his
lips against her skin, Relena gently pushed her fingers against the top of her
brow. Maybe it hadn’t been a dream after all...
And if it hadn’t, she had to thank
Heero for not only the present, but also for the kiss that she hadn’t been in
any state to agree to. Not that she had any problems with agreeing to
kiss Heero Yuy. She would have liked to have been awake while doing so
though.
Flopping back into the comforting
cushions of her bed Relena found getting up that morning even more difficult.
Oh how she wish she’d been
awake.... how she hoped the kiss had been real.....
**********
She did eventually get up.
Frankie had to bang on Relena’s bedroom door for several minutes before she
sluggishly dragged herself out of the warmth and comfort of her bed and into
the uncontrollable temperature that was the Dorlian
family shower.
Plodding sluggishly down the stairs
a long while after Frankie’s wake up call Relena was surprised to find her
friends sitting around the Diner’s countertop while Elana
and Frankie had all but disappeared.
“They’re cooking breakfast...
although I think it’s more like brunch now!” Hilde explained from the
stool she was sitting on beside the Diner’s counter. Duo was beside
her. Relena eyed her two friends carefully. They looked thoroughly too
cheerful.
“Merry Christmas to you too!”
Relena said grumpily as she reached the last step of the stair case separating
the diner from the Dorlian’s living area. “What
are you all doing here, if you don’t mind me asking?”
Duo raised his hands in
mock-offense. “Hey no offense taken Lena. Your folks told us that you
ended up working later then you had expected to. Something about the
manager taking off.... or something like that?” He glanced at Quatre who
Relena assumed had been told the full gist of the story. Well the half
gist of the story which was that one of Une’s
relatives was sick and dying in Canada. That was believable enough.
And if it wasn’t, it was Relena’s best attempt with coming up with a covering
lie while being under pressure to clean up the Winner festivities the evening
before.
“It’s okay Duo. And I am
tired....” Relena affirmed resisting a yawn.
“There there
Relena... it’s only Christmas.” Hilde bantered, cheering her sleepy
friend on.
“Oh yeah. Merry Christmas
guys.” Relena said, pushing stray wisps of hair out of her eyes. Spotting
Heero, Relena sported him a smile. He deserved a medal for the Christmas
present and a trophy for the sweetly-dreamed but just perhaps real-life
kiss. Unfortunately all that she had on her was a smile. She hoped
that would do him.
Heero studied Relena from the end
of the counter. She’d obviously gotten his Christmas present. And
from the pretty blush staining her cheeks she’d liked it. Very much
indeed. Hopefully the gift had broken the necessary ice and just maybe
she now trusted him enough to tell him what she had almost told him last night.
“When’s brunch anyway?”
Relena asked.
“Um... your folks went out back to
cook it awhile ago. They said it wouldn’t be ready for awhile yet.”
Duo said. “We’ve been sitting here for awhile now Lena. I’m kind of
bored...”
“Want to take a walk then?”
Hilde asked Duo. Relena raised an eyebrow. Was her friend propositioning her
other friend in front of everybody.
Hilde met Relena’s horrified gaze. “Not like that Relena! I meant
everybody. Does everyone want to take a walk?”
Nobody was terribly eager to go for
a walk. But then again, taking a walk seemed a lot more exciting then
sitting around waiting for what seemed to be an imaginary brunch. So the
group filed out of the diner in their own time. Relena couldn’t be
bothered to let Elana and Frankie know that they’d
left the premises. They’d figure it out eventually anyway.
“Hey Heero,” Relena called
out to the boy who she’d come to the conclusion had only been in her room but a
few hours ago. “Wait up for a minute will you?”
Heero paused at the Dorlian’s entrance. Funny how their roles in only a
matter of moments had been reversed. Up until only moments ago he’d been
the one who’d stop her in mid-stride. Now it was her, doing the same
thing to him. And he’d accepted. Something nearly unheard of for
him.
The others filed out the door,
while Relena pulled on her pea coat. Heero stood beside the door waiting
for her admission or was it omission?
“Thanks for the Christmas present
Heero.” She said, pausing with the buttoning of the coat. “It meant
a lot to me.”
Heero eyed her warily. She’d
liked the bear He hadn’t been sure about it. But it had been what
he felt symbolized his relationship with Relena... and as he was slowly coming
to figure out, just what he wanted his relationship with Relena to be like.
“You don’t have to say
anything,” Relena said, “But I just wanted to let you know that I
appreciated the gift. Merry Christmas.” She leaned up to him,
pressing her soft coral lips against his own soft skin. It wasn’t a sloppy
peck on the cheek, but a lingering one with much feeling underlying the mere
press of lips to cheek. And Heero’s cheek tingled. She’d left an
invisible mark on his soul.
“Thank you again Heero.” Relena
said quietly as she led the way out the door of the Diner to join their friends
who’d long since left them behind.
*********
Chapter ends... but is tbc!
Till next time,
Cheers,
Jooles ^_~