Disclaimers ect: The songs Hanging By A Moment by Life House and Crash and Burn by Savage Garden do not belong to me, nor do the characters of Gundam Wing. So please don't sue me, a little high schooler just writing a story for the heck of it!
This is my first real attempt at a Gundam Wing fic. So please r & r! amiyuy01@lycos.com ~Ami~
Crash and Burn
Chapter 1- Fall Apart
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It was Relena's birthday, but she never stopped to acknowledge it this year. It had been three and a half years since she'd last seen him. Four since he'd given her that note and bear. At first she'd see him once in awhile, at her public appearances. But when those even stopped, she slowly came to the conclusion that he didn't love here, even if she loved him forever. One day she'd even taken the bear and stoicly asked Pagan to give it away.
From then on, to the public she seemed stonger and more mature. The peace was prospering under her care, and everyone loved her. No one seemed to notice that she grew thinner and paler by the week with the light fading from her eyes and smile. Her friends had noticed and desperatly asked her what was wrong, but she refused to talk about it. All they knew was to never mention Heero when she was there, causing many ceased conversations when she entered. Even just hearing his name resulted in her paling and clenching her jaw, finding an excuse to leave.
After her last meeting she stood out under a ledge, watching the gentle rain fall. While walking to her car she throught about what Zechs and Noin had asked earlier that day. They wanted her to spend her birthday with them again this year. She'd declined and instead drove herself home, since Pagan had been ill the last few days.
~~~~~
Noin stood in her husband's office and watched Relena leave. She looked at Zechs and shook her head. For the past two years the girl had overworked herself and had become a shell. Why did Heero leave? Noin always asked herself the same question. She was worried about Relena and had suggested they celebrate her birthday together, but the shell had quickly turned her down to spend it on work.
Zechs had no idea why Noin blamed Heero for Relena, but he still hated him. They were rivals and would remain so, and when Noin said he was the cause for his sister's decline, well he might not know why, but that was unforgivable.
~~~~~
Relena flipped on the radio quietly but she didn't pay attention to the dj, her mind was blank. When the next song started she gasped, it was the song, the one thing that the shell recognized as wanting to apply to her life.
Desprate for changing
Starving for truth
I'm closer to where I started
Chasing after you
I'm falling even more in love with you
Letting go of all I've held on to
I'm standing here until you make me move
I'm hanging by a moment here with you
Forgetting all I'm lacking
Completely incomplete
I'll take your invitation
You take all of me
Tears formed in her eyes as she sang along softly, meaning every word. By the time she got home it was over and outside it had stoped raining and the sun had gone down. She sat for a minute longer, pulling herself together, after all, it's just a song, no matter who came to mind when she heard it. Going inside she knocked on Pagan's door. They exchanged greetings, she asking how he was feeling (better), and he wishing her a happy birthday. Grabbing her usual dinner of crackers, cheese and water she went up to her room to work. She went straight to her desk, passing her dresser and mirror. Glancing at her reflection she cringed. Those ever-present dark circles rimed her eyes and her clothes seemed to be looser than before. Looking away she took down her hair and sat down, and pulled out folders and began writing. It had been four years. No longer did she search for a gift from him on this day.
~~~~~
Heero saw her leave and he saw her arrive. That song, he'd had it play, he knew what it meant to her, after seeing her a day ago in her room listening to it. He had gone to her public appearances where she could see him, at first, but then he faded from her view, although he was still there. He had to protect her, he knew that much, but he couldn't admit to himself then what his feelings had been. But Duo had made him admit it. The happy-go-lucky pilot had made him break those barriers.
They were at one of Relena's recent speechs where Duo had dragged Heero to stand with everyone else. She never saw them, and at the end Duo turned on the silent pilot, after seeing the way he looked at her.
'Listen to me you stupid idiot! Will you just admit it already?' Duo grabbed his arm and dragged the stunned Heero away from the crowd.
'...'
'Dang it! I'm tired of this! I saw how you watched her. But did you see how she REALLY looked? Come on, she's a skeleton up there! And why do you think she is?' The braided pilot was red-hot with anger, about ready to punch him.
'She's overworked herself, Duo. You yourself said that.' Heero's voice was even, but his eyes flashed a warning.
'You KNOW that's not what I mean!' his fist flew straight for Heero's head, and connected with his hand instead.
Heero's grip tightened and his voice was dark. 'Duo, back off.'
Pointedly ignoring the pain in his hand he continued. 'I will not. Heero, what's with you? I mean I know you've got this stupid detachment from the world, but when it comes to her I see a break in that shield. I think you see it to, and that's why you stoped letting her see you isn't it? Well it may be what you think is best, but look at her, do you see it as being best for her?' Wrenching his hand free he pointed to the poster behind him, and then pulled out a picture. 'Compare for a second will you? Look here and tell me she hasn't changed.'
Heero glared at Duo from under his wild chestnut bangs, but took the picture anyway. It was from her birthday party four years ago. He hadn't been there, but it was one that Duo repeatedly showed him and he had it imprinted on his mind. She was holding the bear he'd given her the day before, her sapphire blue eyes were lit-up with happiness and her smile was absolutely radiant. He felt that familiar twinge that came everytime he saw her. What was it? Then he looked at the poster. It was a close-up on her face when she was giving a speech. To one that knew her face such as he, she looked dead. A pale porcelin doll ready to crack. He looked back to Duo. 'I see it, how could I not...but Duo, it's got nothing to do with me.'
His friend sighed, but didn't give up, 'Huh, really? Dude, you've know that she fell for you when you two met! What makes you think that she's changed her mind after all you went through?'
'It was a crush.' He replied weakly, discovering himself in the same argument he'd waged with himself for the past 4 years.
Duo snorted, 'The heck it was! Ha, we can't even say your name around her anymore.'
'What?' This was news to him.
'Heck, she looks sick whenever 'hero' is even mentioned. It's been FOUR years! I don't think a crush would still cause that!'
'I'm a danger to her, Duo, I'm a Gundam pilot and she's the advocate of peace! It was doomed from the start, can't she see that?'
'All she sees is that she still loves you. And you are no longer a Gundam pilot, friend, the Gundams are gone.' he shook his head, braid falling behind his back. 'You two were brought together for a reason, and I don't understand your reluctance.'
'I don't either. Duo, I don't understand any of this. You've dealt with emotions your whole life, but me, they've been locked away, except for when I'm around her, they go wild. How am I supposed to deal with this?' Heero's eyes pleaded with Duo who was taken aback by the openness.
'Heero, you can't deal with this until you see her. I have a feeling that everything will work itself out then.'
~~~~~